Marauder Class Imbalance Problem Identified

Marauder's have long been plagued by a tarnished reputation. They've been dubbed 'guard-humpers' and 'pussies' for as long as I can remember. While I agree with these statements, a study of the Marauder class at John Hopkins University has led researchers to a startling discovery. Much like being gay, the playstyle (sexual orientation) of Marauder's is not so much a choice, but genetic. Due to a defect in their genes, Marauder's are suffering from a condition called "Liquidus Wrist", or Limp Wrists. As more and more Marauder's guard hump and hide in their healers, they are encouraging what researchers are calling "Reverse Evolution". The less they actually contribute, the weaker their wrists become.














One Marauder, Haringsablay, had this to say, "It's an extremely self-destructive illness. Now that I know whats happening, I want to fight it. But I can't. I'm too much of a pussy."

Researchers are working around the clock, looking for a cure.