Nordain's Awesome Funtime Blog!

Let the Witch Hunt Begin....

2010-12-04T04:24:00.004-07:00

Thanks for the screen-shot, Mr. Anonymous.

Fulton and Art Supplies Vs. Vindication

2010-12-04T04:24:00.003-07:00

The saga continues....

Peasant Quest Vs. Woody the Chipmunk

2010-12-03T21:53:00.003-07:00

Thanks to Woody the Chipmunk for the lols.

Might recommence the blag this month, but we'll see.

Edit: I'm not Woody the Chipmunk =)

UBZ Mole Identified

2010-06-17T09:18:00.002-07:00

The UBZ struck a critical blow to the NAFTB cause today. Our crucial inside-man, EA Mythic Developer Josh Drescher was identified as the source of the secret documents originating from UBZ headquarters. True to Skala's reputation, Agent Drescher was dealt with swiftly and without mercy.

Drescher was able to get a message out to us indicating his plight, (on the right) but later revised his statement, adding that he "still loves Mythic." Suspicious.

Drescher's current whereabouts are unknown. Reports indicate he was given a tiny box to remove his office's contents, causing emotional distress as he was forced to make multiple trips in and out of the building. Andy Belford was seen cackling during the process.

Drescher is being classified as MIA.

Blackthornes Inner-Workings Revealed

2010-05-28T13:48:00.004-07:00

The Iron Curtain has been lifted. Information regarding the likes of Blackthornes, Dominus Letum, etc, has been kept secret since their formation. We have heard whispers of 'PvP-Techs' and other disturbing operations, but we've never had solid evidence. But now, as refugees from the UBZ (Union of the Blackthornes Zerg) begin to speak, the tactics by which Joseph Skala leads his armies are beginning to emerge. Swift and pitiless retribution will be brought upon any who dare to question Skala's rule. Joseph Skala leads Blackthornes with an iron fist.

Our undercover order agent witnessed a speech given by Skala to his army.

Joseph Skala: I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night.
Although I have taken the form of Joseph Skala, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a god.
I shall wait for the unanimous decision of the Zerg, Hethroin...
Hethroin: All those who say aye, say aye.
Joseph Skala: Aye... Aye!
Zerg: Aye! Aye! Aye!...
Ludoc: He's a god now...

^{-----------------------------------------------}

^{Our agent}^was^{able to recover some secret documents from the UBZ, and we've made them available for your viewing.}

Oriphiel Spotting!

2010-05-28T13:12:00.001-07:00

Zazie and his guild Widespread Panic spotted the missing Bright Wizard Oriphiel.
Unfortunately, they were unable to detain him.

Zazie was quoted saying, "HE WAS TRYING TO ST IN A SCEN WE SPAWN CAMPED THEM, THATS ALL HE MANAGED. HE GOT AWAY FROM US THO. PUT OUT THE AMBER ALERT!"

Oriphiel, if you are reading this, we just want you to come home safely!

Also, you should probably respec. Ewwww.

Note: Interior also shatters his previous record of seven killing blows in this screen shot.

Marauder Class Imbalance Problem Identified

2010-05-28T11:30:00.005-07:00

Marauder's have long been plagued by a tarnished reputation. They've been dubbed 'guard-humpers' and 'pussies' for as long as I can remember. While I agree with these statements, a study of the Marauder class at John Hopkins University has led researchers to a startling discovery. Much like being gay, the playstyle (sexual orientation) of Marauder's is not so much a choice, but genetic. Due to a defect in their genes, Marauder's are suffering from a condition called "Liquidus Wrist", or Limp Wrists. As more and more Marauder's guard hump and hide in their healers, they are encouraging what researchers are calling "Reverse Evolution". The less they actually contribute, the weaker their wrists become.

One Marauder, Haringsablay, had this to say, "It's an extremely self-destructive illness. Now that I know whats happening, I want to fight it. But I can't. I'm too much of a pussy."

Researchers are working around the clock, looking for a cure.

I figured I'd help out.

2010-05-25T05:20:00.003-07:00

I saw this when I was dropping some mail off at the post office. Figured I'd post it up here and get it out to as many people as possible.

A Moment of Silence, Please.

2010-05-25T04:28:00.004-07:00

We gave them 72 hours, but they didn't budge.

It is time we.....learn to play.

Fight the Good Fight!

2010-05-22T10:16:00.006-07:00

I apologize about the lack of posting this week. I took a short hiatus from Warhammer due to some injuries I sustained during last weeks rally. Don't worry, with one Warrior Priest in my party I was able to make short work of the 30 or so Magus dots I had on me, causing minimal pain. It was more of an annoyance than anything. However, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder got the best of me. I was hospitalized. The only treatment they found effective was to have me use a remote control with only one button. Somehow, inexplicably, this brought me comfort.

Now that I'm back, I'm picking up where I left off.

Enough is enough!
It is time to stand together and fight the good fight!
We can't let them nerf our class into oblivion!

Working with some of the top minds in the Bright Wizard Community, we've formulated a plan for getting the Bright Wizard back on track. Rather than go about this forcefully, we're going to try our best at handling this diplomatically. Figured we'd give Mythic an opportunity to remedy the situation before it gets out of hand.

We have launched a campaign to try to garner the support of the player base with stories our plight. So far, they've resisted. You can see our attempt here. Please post encouraging words.

A fellow supporter created a logo for our movement. We thank our brother Prenuncius from Volkmar for his contribution to our cause.

We believe that in due time, this campaign alone will bring our request to fruition. However, I cannot in clear conscience allow this to go on any longer than absolutely necessary. Therefore, I've contacted Mythic directly with the requests of the Bright Wizard Community and placed a formal complaint in form of a bug report. You can view it here.

Bright Wizard Anti-Nerf Rally Turns into Bloodbath

2010-05-15T23:51:00.002-07:00

An Anti-nerf rally regarding 1.3.5 Bright Wizard changes took place on Iron Rock late Saturday evening. A group of 18 Bright Wizards, obviously fueled by rage, scorched the earth near Charon's Keep in Chaos Wastes for nearly half an hour, protesting the new Scorched Earth mechanic change. The soil near Charon's keep was quoted later as saying he felt "thoroughly scorched." The rally eventually evolved into a riot when said Bright Wizards realized after 1.3.5 they could not even spam Scorched Earth, even in boredom or in protest. After ten minutes of confusion, the riot was eventually crushed by a gigantic solo level 34 Magus.

Renowned Bright Wizard Seladorian was heard screaming, "Arrggg, a Horror!!" as he was rifted to his doom.

Mormur, an engineer and sole survivor, was spared by the vengeful Magus.

New findings reveal that Bright Wizard tears actually grant the Magus class its power. This is being referred to as the 'hidden class mechanic' of the Magus. War Oracle Sepi, Magus Core Tester, has been known to drink Bright Wizard tears from his pimp glass. Sepi has been telling other Magi to simply "l2p" while he has secretly been imbibing on Bright Wizard tears, enabling him to out-perform the other magus on all servers.

According to sources, the 1.2.1 AoE nerfs did not buff the Magus noticeably, as they were crying about their own nerfs as well, which left the two classes at a stalemate for nearly a year.

These new findings bring with them disturbing questions, and the answers, unseen as of now, could change the game as we know it. Are we heading into a dark time, where the server is ruled by tyrannical Magi bent on revenge? In the future, will we be rifted not to Sorc AoE, but deadly purple mist? Will the floating disk be seen as a symbol of impending doom? Only time will tell.

1.3.5 BW Changes Q&A

2010-05-15T21:44:00.000-07:00

I was able to sit down with some of the Bright Wizards here on Iron Rock and have a discussion about the upcoming Bright Wizard changes.

First I sat down with Gtss.
---------------------------------
NAFTB: So, Gtss, how are you planning to adapt to the Scorched Earth changes in 1.3.5?

Gtss: Well, now that I'm forced to actually think about how I'm playing....*

NAFTB: Let me stop you right there.
---------------------------------

I was also able to get ahold of the server's best single target Bright Wizard, Vorded. According to him, 1.3.5 may be game over for order.

*Actual quote.

Warbuddy In Action

2010-05-14T17:07:00.001-07:00

Alot of people aren't sure how Warbuddy works. I thought I'd make a diagram to clear up some confusion.

UPDATE

2010-05-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

This just in!

"Hey, I have a blog now, can I be a CT?"

MythicAndy|Work: I mean, sorry, we already have the douchebag quota in Core

It had to be said.

2010-05-14T15:40:00.001-07:00

As you can see, in the beginning, we didn't know he had downs.

Correlational Study of Skill Level Vs. Frequency of Blogging

2010-05-14T15:01:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion that there is a direct correlation between skill level in Warhammer Online, and the frequency of blogging.

Measuring skill level in Warhammer Online can be very subjective. Seeing as how I just barely passed Psychology, I figured I might as well use my new found tools in research and experimentation, and give it the old D+ Effort. The keep the contents of this study empirical, I measured the skill level of the subjects using a combination of a series of pregnancy tests, and how quickly the subject could complete a rubix cube while being pleasured by a left-handed Mexican in the shower.

As you can see, Gaarawar's steady blogging has enabled him to be the veritable messiah of Warhammer Online. While Gandalf has nothing to do with Gaarawar or Warhammer, I'd like to link this video for those of you who would like to pay your respects to Gaarwar. If you need to l2pve in your time of need, pay heed, and go visit this dweeb.

Chopsy, on the other hand, had the world eating out of his palm with his grassroots Christian blog. This blog was unfortunately taken down after the second cuming of Jesus. The blog was stained and had to be thrown out. You can see from the graph, however, where Chopsy's ingame skill spiked. Of course, after the blog was taken down, his power (blagroids) subsided and he became a mere mortal once again.

Finally we have Tyanon. Tyanon's blog has not been around for very long, but he is an undeniable rising power in Warhammer Online. Reports indicate that Tyanon's supreme MMO gaming skill, supplemented with blogging, will not only make him regular in the bathroom, but a prime reason that zealots may indeed be getting hit with the nerf bat in the near future.

The Silence before the Storm

2010-05-13T09:23:00.000-07:00

I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

JT's Leaked Annual Work Performance Evaluation

2010-05-13T08:54:00.001-07:00

One of the higher ups is upset with JT's fail logo design!

Magus Case Study Confirms Suspicions

2010-05-12T22:45:00.000-07:00

The verdict is in.

Magus is OP.

Blag

2010-05-12T15:48:00.000-07:00

1. To gain, usually entrance to a restricted area or club, or some material good, through confidence trickery or cheekiness. Lying is also acceptable.

WELCOME TO THE VIP CLUB, SCRUBS.

After hours of grueling testing and research...

2010-05-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

...It has been found that Bright Wizards and Warrior Priests are in fact not OP. New data suggests simply "learning to play" will not only decrease the amount of times you have to respawn, but also enhance your gaming experience.

MOUNT OUTFITS

2010-05-12T12:39:00.001-07:00

Where are they?

This just in.

2010-05-12T12:37:00.000-07:00

ShadowWar's blog just sucked my dick.

And then I banged Gaarawar's Gab's mom.

Giant Penis Squad is on the prowl.

Hi, I have a blog now.

2010-05-12T12:33:00.001-07:00

Can I be a CT now?